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Post by Ramon133 on Jun 23, 2009 17:05:30 GMT -5
So Roger Ebert rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090623/REVIEWS/906239997 weighs in and when he doesn't like a movie... well this happens: "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination. The plot is incomprehensible. The dialog of the Autobots, Deceptibots and Otherbots is meaningless word flap. Their accents are Brooklyese, British and hip-hop, as befits a race from the distant stars. Their appearance looks like junkyard throw-up. They are dumb as a rock. They share the film with human characters who are much more interesting, and that is very faint praise indeed. The movie has been signed by Michael Bay. This is the same man who directed "The Rock" in 1996. Now he has made "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen." Faust made a better deal. This isn't a film so much as a toy tie-in. Children holding a Transformer toy in their hand can invest it with wonder and magic, imagining it doing brave deeds and remaining always their friend. I knew a little boy once who lost his blue toy truck at the movies, and cried as if his heart would break. Such a child might regard "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" with fear and dismay. The human actors are in a witless sitcom part of the time, and lot of the rest of their time is spent running in slo-mo away from explosions, although--hello!--you can't outrun an explosion. They also make speeches like this one by John Turturro: "Oh, no! The machine is buried in the pyramid! If they turn it on, it will destroy the sun! Not on my watch!" The humans, including lots of U.S. troops, shoot at the Transformers a lot, although never in the history of science fiction has an alien been harmed by gunfire. There are many great-looking babes in the film, who are made up to a flawless perfection and look just like real women, if you are a junior fanboy whose experience of the gender is limited to lad magazines. The two most inexplicable characters are Ron and Judy Witwicky (Kevin Dunn and Julie White), who are the parents of Shia LaBeouf, who Mephistopheles threw in to sweeten the deal. They take their son away to Princeton, apparently a party school, where Judy eats some pot and goes berserk. Later they swoop down out of the sky on Egypt, for reasons the movie doesn't make crystal clear, so they also can run in slo-mo from explosions. The battle scenes are bewildering. A Bot makes no visual sense anyway, but two or three tangled up together create an incomprehensible confusion. I find it amusing that creatures that can unfold out of a Camaro and stand four stories high do most of their fighting with...fists. Like I say, dumber than a box of staples. They have tiny little heads, except for Starscream®, who is so ancient he has an aluminum beard. Aware that this movie opened in England seven hours before Chicago time and the morning papers would be on the streets, after writing the above I looked up the first reviews as a reality check. I was reassured: "Like watching paint dry while getting hit over the head with a frying pan!" (Bradshaw, Guardian); "Sums up everything that is most tedious, crass and despicable about modern Hollywood!" (Tookey, Daily Mail); "A giant, lumbering idiot of a movie!" (Edwards, Daily Mirror). The first American review, however, reported that it "feels destined to be the biggest movie of all time" (Todd Gilchrist, Cinematical). It’s certainly the biggest something of all time.
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Post by Motherfucking Awesome!! on Jun 23, 2009 18:50:15 GMT -5
I didn't really get into the last movie and unless Megan Fox gets naked I don't care about this one.
I'm an 80's child but I always went outside and played when Transformers came on.
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Post by Ramon133 on Jun 23, 2009 19:06:29 GMT -5
Yeah, I was definitely not old enough to be hardcore into the transformers or anything like that even though some of my older cousins were. I watched the beginning of the last movie and I just had to stop it because it was so mind numbingly stupid that I was beginning to crack and as I said before, Megan Fox is just looks kind of soul crushing for me to give a shit about her so she wouldn't carry this movie for me at all.
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Post by Motherfucking Awesome!! on Jun 23, 2009 19:09:19 GMT -5
She looks gradually worse, but since her almost nakedness back a few years ago in FHM I wouldn't mind getting a peak at that and lame ass tattoos. But in FHM I knew she sounded kinda stupid when she said she has her boyfriend's (Brian Austin Green) name tattooed by her "pie" and said if they ever split she can just have a son and name him Brian.
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Post by Brujesino on Jun 23, 2009 19:12:02 GMT -5
iam still watching this movie
even though bay loves to put retarded shit in his movies
oh and roger ebert is a old peice of shit
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Post by Will on Jun 23, 2009 19:43:49 GMT -5
i saw that it got a 37% on Rotten Tomatoes, that's not a good sign.
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Post by Brujesino on Jun 23, 2009 20:25:58 GMT -5
i saw that it got a 37% on Rotten Tomatoes, that's not a good sign. holy shit did it....damn oh well T4 got like 40 turned out to be decent
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Post by Stubacca on Jun 24, 2009 3:38:32 GMT -5
It's a Michael Bay movie. It has to suck. I just saw one movie by him that was more than some explosions followed by more explosions and that was the Island. I think Robot Chicken summed it up pretty well:
I'm not planning on seeing this. I loved Transformers when I was a kid and had a lot of toys from the toyline. But I'm not gonna see another Michael Bay directed Transformers movie (or any movie for that matter) in the theatre.
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Post by Ramon133 on Jun 24, 2009 9:35:12 GMT -5
Yeah, I think if any reviewer was going to be a place that "got" this movie it would have come from the fine people over at joblo. Let's see what a reviewer had to say about it...
I almost don't know where to start with this one. I guess the “good news/bad news” thing is the best way to go. So, first the good news. The Transformers themselves look great. There were a few unfinished shots here and there, but overall, very cool. There is a battle scene between Megatron and Optimus Prime in a forest that looked amazing. And, well, that's about it.
Now the bad news, and damn, there is a lot of it. First the plot. I know they had to get this script in before the writer's strike and that it was really rushed, but did no one proof read this thing? It's like three different people wrote their own version of the film and taped pages together. You have a first act where Sam goes to college and you spend tons of time on it, only to abandon the device after the first half hour. They seem to do that a lot in this film. Mikeala makes a pet of a tiny Decepticon, who after being carried around in a box like some weird ass metal Chihuahua, decides he likes her, humps her leg and gives her the location of the ancient robot who will help them. Then he just disappears, never to be heard from again. The hot college girl in the beginning of the film who is practically swallowing Sam and throwing him down on the bed is a robot. Seriously. A skin job who tries to stab him with a metal tongue. And that's the last time you see a robot in human form! They've based a film and multiple television shows on robots who look like humans and you just leave that after the first fifteen minutes? The first act has almost nothing to do with the second, and by the third, people were yelling out, “What is happening?”
Sam's mom accidentally eats a pot brownie and starts flipping out to the point of jumping on a guy's back and knocking them down. I'm sorry, but pot makes you sit on the couch and eat Cheetos, not attack people. And I refuse to believe that someone on that film isn't fully aware of that. Not after what I just watched. You've got a herd of wild camels running through the desert and one has a hobble on it's legs. Cause they just grow like that? No one thought to take that off? I think my very favorite screw up is the magical teleporting old Transformer (who used a cane, by the way...in case you didn't know he was old) who seems to pass out bandages and an extra sock while transporting you to the desert. Shia hurts his hand, and when he reappears in the desert, he's got a bandage around it. And later, he just happens to have an extra sock to put magical dust in. Of course, I could be wrong. I suppose I can think of one other reason someone might have an extra sock on him. No offense Shia. I do not mean to imply that you stuff.
Poor Shia. He actually did a good job here, despite all the problems. You have to hand it to someone who can act convincingly around not only robots you can't see, but with a script that makes no sense whatsoever. Fox, on the other hand...I'm sorry boys. I know she's hot. They made every attempt to remind us in the film. Butt shots in short shorts, big pouty close ups...and by the way, I do not believe for one second that someone like Shia LeBeouf would blow off someone like Megan Fox for a video date as he does in the film...she speaks like she's stoned through the entire film and her lipgloss never seems to come off. I actually want to know where she bought the blindingly white jeans she wears at the end of the film. Because, even after almost being overtaken by an explosion, running and sliding through desert sand and holing up in an old and dusty building, they still look freshly washed. I could use a pair of those. Seriously, someone smack the costume person please. I'm sure she'd still be hot covered in dirt and free of shiny pink lip goo.
The story itself is ridiculous. And this is coming from someone who loves fantasy and sci-fi and will forgive a lot. Hell, I had Soundwave as a kid and my sister is married to the biggest Transformers fan in the world. But I just don't buy that a race of robots, who have been on Earth for thousands of years just happened to hide a device in the pyramids that could blow up the sun just in case they happened to need it. I could explain that plot point to you, but trust me, it's better if I don't. I don't understand a group of long dead Primes (who all look alike, but nothing like Optimus Prime, the only one left alive) are going to contact Sam through his mind. And I do not believe that two Transformers with stereotypical and frankly, racist ghetto accents are going to provide comic relief.
I really can't believe the studio didn't say anything about this. I just do not understand how anyone thought this was a good idea. Or even the slightest bit acceptable. It takes a lot to offend me, but this was just disgusting. Among other things, their faces had the appearance of a pre-Civil Rights era caricature, one of them has a giant gold tooth, and they make a big deal about how they “don't do much readin'”. When they came on screen, audience members started looking at each other to make sure they weren't imagining things. Watto and Jar Jar Binks have nothing on Mudflap and Skids.
I was not a huge fan of the first THE TRANSFORMERS film, though I actually like Kurtzman and Orci. This just doesn't seem like their work at all. Look, the film is going to make wads of cash, no matter what I, or anyone else says about it. But I'm kind of in awe of how awful this film was.
The robots were pretty though.
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Post by chocky on Jun 24, 2009 18:15:51 GMT -5
I thought it was an entertaining popcorn flick, just ran a bit too long, coulda lost 20-30 mins. Last act dragged a bit too.
All the same faults remain really, not enough character time with the robots (again only Prime and Bumblebee are featured from the main crew), confusing action at times and needless wacky humour.
Alot of it does get a laugh but half the time you think "who are they making this film for?"
I'm confused at why the comedy bot twins are seen as racist, have these reviewers been blind to most hip hop video from the past twenty years? If those bots are 'racist' then most of modern black hip hop culture is racist, or is it racist cos Bay is white, maybe that.
Not the best movie this year but not the worst IMO, Wolverine sucked more than this one for me.
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jw
New Member
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Post by jw on Jun 26, 2009 17:49:26 GMT -5
Haven't seen it, don't plan to. Why do people rag on these things if they know they won't like them? Transformers was a little after my time of playing with toys (or at least after I'd graduated to more expensive, man-cave toys) and the first movie was so-so at best. I'm not sure why anyone who didn't like the first one would go see the second (or even complain about it). The only thing worth seeing to me is Megan Fox, whom I admit I would do very dirty things to.
The Rock, however, was an enjoyable popcorn flick movie IMHO, for one reason only: Sean Bloody Connery.
JW
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Post by Ramon133 on Jun 26, 2009 18:03:45 GMT -5
Well the people that are complaining about it above are you know... professional writers who get paid to complain about it. Haha. I never HOPE that movies are bad, especially when these two are written by the same awesome writers that were behind Star Trek but I thought the Ebert review was particularly brutal and worth sharing with everyone.
I was a fan of the first Bad Boys. Back when Martin Lawrence and Will Smith delivered the word "damn" with much more power and bravado than a big ass explosion can provide. Part two sucked though.
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Post by Ramon133 on Jun 26, 2009 20:00:50 GMT -5
And then sometimes Roger Ebert just likes to talk a lot of shit about a movie he really doesn't like... blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2009/06/the_fall_of_the_revengers.htmlFavorite bit? "There was no starting out slow and building up to a big climax. The movie is pretty much all climax. The Autobots® and Decepticons® must not have read the warning label on their Viagra. At last we see what a four-hour erection looks like." OWNED
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Post by Ramon133 on Jun 27, 2009 6:31:38 GMT -5
Alot of it does get a laugh but half the time you think "who are they making this film for?" I'm confused at why the comedy bot twins are seen as racist, have these reviewers been blind to most hip hop video from the past twenty years? If those bots are 'racist' then most of modern black hip hop culture is racist, or is it racist cos Bay is white, maybe that. Hey, I thought I would respond to this because uh... why not? Maybe we'll all get riled up in an enbittered argument calling each other racists. FUN! Notice, that I quoted the two paragraphs from your initial post and left out the rest. It's because the first paragraph perfectly explains WHY the robots are racist. This movie was made to attract the absolute lowest common denominator and I'd say based on the fact that they are no doubt going to make a stupid ammount of money showing admittedly mindless action sets places one after another over and over again, they have succeeded in that. This movie is absolutely made as a cash cow that is awkwardly supposed to attract teenagers first and foremost with a close second being little boys buying action figures and middle aged men that used to buy action figures. But more importantly, it's aimed at a middle american audience, one that while growing more liberal as the years go on, is still pretty damn whitebread. Maybe that's racist to say on my part being a Mexican guy living decidedly left of middle America but fuck it, that's just what I've picked up from watching Television ads where thirty something guys with button up striped shirts get nagged from frumpy but still kind of doable middle aged women with precocious children (one, a teenage girl who is ever on her cellphone and the other a boy with longish hair that is wearing a Target bought AC-DC shirt) and I dunno, a dog or baby too. The point is, not a crowd that is going to watch two bumbling illiterate fools and think to themselves, "Yeah, that's a pretty humorous/accurate take on Modern African American popular culture." They'll laugh and they'll forget about it by the time the next explosion happens so it's not an incredibly damaging portrayal of a race of people. But the thing is that it's so wide spread and so subversively insulting to black people that it becomes ingrained into our culture again. I've heard the argument that if it was a black director and a black cast playing to a black audience that it would be okay but the thing is, that is not the case here. It is a double standard but it's also showing a bit of cultural sensitivity for a group of people that have been systematically been forced into lower economic climates and are taught by the same popular culture that the most effective ways to get out of that lower economic climate is to entertain white America by dancing, singing, or playing sports with shows like Cribs and well... just American society. I know you are English so it's a bit foreign of you to see things like that, but as someone who spends waaay too much time looking at stuff like that, I am offering my vantage point. I'm sort of like Kurtz in the Heart of Darkness! That's kinda badass. If you are going to say fuck it and go for the money, you can't single out a race as the comedic relief. And especially in such a way that they have no heroic qualities (I've not seen the movie but from what I've heard they have none, by all means correct me if I'm wrong) And that's the difference between this and movies like Independence Day where Will Smith was comedic relief and black, he also was a hero. See the difference with how the characters were treated? That makes it a bit racist. Only a bit though, because I've always got the sense that Optimus Prime was a brotha. I mean, come one. Look at him.
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Post by chocky on Jun 27, 2009 14:04:07 GMT -5
I don't think that TF isn't aimed at black people. The Wayans Bros, Chris Rock, Richard Pryor etc aren't 'aimed' at exclusively black people.
Also Hip Hop artists and all the 'gansta' culture stars aren't playing themselves up. 2 robots being comedy relief as wannabe 'ganstas' isn't racist. I doubt Michael Bay had a racist agenda with the film.
A comedy fool Jamican is ok in a big film like Cool Runnings, however Jar Jar Binks is a terrible racist stereotype....
It doesn't matter who the film is supposedly aimed at. It's a huge double standard in any case, it's also offensive, Lucas and Bay peddling racist stereotypes? Really, I don't think so.
In my experiance it's always the white middle class who are the first to level the accusations of racism, at least here in the UK.
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